To my chagrin, it was Laurie and not I who received this letter yesterday:

Dear Mr [sic] Paul,

2000 OUTSTANDING ACADEMICS OF THE 21st CENTURY

The International Biographical Center of Cambridge, England, has published more than 1,000,000 biographies of people of note from all over the world in more than 200 editions of its reference works. Housed in libraries and research institutions in every country of the globe, these books provide vital information for academia, industry and private use. … It is my pleasure than to invited you to complete the enclosed form for this exciting new publication—2000 OUTSTANDING ACADEMICS OF THE 21st CENTURY. This, the inaugural edition, will be published in late 2004 and will be distributed throughout the world immediately … Demand promises to be great but I have reserved a limited number of copies for the use of biographees only. Each copy is offered at a substantially reduced pre-publication subscription price as a means of thanking yo for completing the enclosed questionnaire. There is no obligation to purchase whatsoever as selection is based on merit alone. We are also proud to offer a fine range of Commemorative Awards to celebrate your significant achievements…

Priority Biographee Reservation Form: … Please supply EITHER

  • Copy/ies of the case bound Grand Edition at US$225 or £135 Sterling each.
  • OUTSTANDING ACADEMICS OF THE 21st CENTURY DIPLOMA, printed in three colours, inscribed with my name and chosen citation at US$225 or £135 Sterling each.
  • OUTSTANDING ACADEMICS OF THE 21st CENTURY MEDAL, silver finished, engraved with my name and supplied in a presentation case at US$225 or £135 Sterling each.

… On the OUTSTANDING ACADEMICS OF THE 21st CENTURY DIPLOMA please inscribe the citation as follows: “In Honor of an Outstanding Contribution in the field of (Max 40 letters): .

I’m thinking I need one of these Diplomas, for my Outstanding Contribution in the field of Excellence.