It’s a well-established fact that a country plays football in a manner consistent with its national character. The strategies of major footballing nations for the World Cup show this is still true. Here’s a run down on some World Cup plans that I got via email the other day. (Sorry I can’t attribute the source: I don’t know who came up with this.)

The English Plan.

Depending on the wind, the striker’s position may vary.


The German Plan.

Radical, efficient, unstoppable. (Ball speed may reach 297km/hr.)


The Italian Plan.

Iron defense, small presence in midfield, passes to striker… and… Penalty.


The Brazilian Plan.

No comment.


The Belgian Plan.

Manage to lose game by themselves, no help needed.


The Spanish Plan.

Where’s the Spanish plan?

The French plan.

In a plan designed by Roger Lemerre, they try all possible hypotheses. Note the player in the midfield trying to play by himself.


The Portugese plan.

The black dot most of the players are gathered around is not the ball. It’s the referee.


The Irish Plan.

Went home on a plane last week.