Sun Jun 2, 2002

National Football Strategies

It’s a well-established fact that a country plays football in a manner consistent with its national character. The strategies of major footballing nations for the World Cup show this is still true. Here’s a run down on some World Cup plans that I got via email the other day. (Sorry I can’t attribute the source: I don’t know who came up with this.)

The English Plan.

Depending on the wind, the striker’s position may vary.

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The German Plan.

Radical, efficient, unstoppable. (Ball speed may reach 297km/hr.)

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The Italian Plan.

Iron defense, small presence in midfield, passes to striker… and… Penalty.

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The Brazilian Plan.

No comment.

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The Belgian Plan.

Manage to lose game by themselves, no help needed.

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The Spanish Plan.

Where’s the Spanish plan?

The French plan.

In a plan designed by Roger Lemerre, they try all possible hypotheses. Note the player in the midfield trying to play by himself.

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The Portugese plan.

The black dot most of the players are gathered around is not the ball. It’s the referee.

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The Irish Plan.

Went home on a plane last week.